Hello, friends. I am back for the first time in quite a while, and I thought it would be appropriate to give an update of where I have been in the past few months and why I haven’t been posting.
Quite frankly, this blog (and my writing in general) has not gone how I have always envisioned. I am a very idealistic person, and I had a lot of ideas of how my writing should be. I pictured myself going all out, constantly finding new inspiration and motivation, and spending every spare moment writing. But life has a way of happening in the middle of your dreams, and instead of working through that, I just didn’t put my priorities in the right place for some time. My job just recently went full time, and when I wasn’t working or spending time with other people, I was tired and didn’t feel like doing anything productive. As a result of that, I quit pursuing things like writing and music. And honestly? I have a pile of books that I want to read, but I don’t make the time to read them. I have so many ideas for projects and adventures, but I haven’t taken the time or the effort to actually put them into play. I’m not here to make any excuses, but I’m also not here to make a promise of posting every week, or to make an announcement of another big project. I am here simply to say that 1.) I’m sorry that I haven’t made this a priority, I feel like I have let people down and not been true to my word, and 2.) This blog is a huge dream of mine and something that God has been nudging me towards for years. I am finally deciding to be honest about how much I have been struggling to prioritize it and follow His will in obedience.
The truth is, I love writing and blogging. I love coming up with new ways to express things, and I have always wanted to use my writing to help people. But I learned that it doesn’t come effortlessly. I still need to cultivate it and work hard to find my writing style and methods. I am prioritizing writing and posting on this blog again, and I know that it will take time for me to develop my style, to get things to a point where I can communicate thoughts and ideas well. But something God has been teaching me is that if I wait until I’m a good writer, I will never start at all. And I am deciding right now to walk in obedience and stop ignoring His call.
I have felt very unqualified to write this blog. I have had a lot of struggles in my faith, especially lately, and I don’t have a lot of extraordinary life experiences to draw wisdom from. I also worry a lot about peoples’ opinions, and I have allowed their opinions and my ideas of what they think of my writing to control me. But I know that God is teaching me to stop focusing so much on what people think of me, and I am learning and growing, even through the difficulties. He’s been showing me that He doesn’t call the qualified, but he qualifies the called. With that being said, I am still working on figuring out what kind of things I want to post on here. For a while, it might just be a collection of journaled thoughts and things I am learning. I haven’t quite figured it all out. But I know that the time to start is now, and I have been putting it off and forcing a routine and a cookie cutter around my writing. I want to be open to what God leads me to write, and be pliable in His hands to His will.
As you can tell, I am working on a bit of a new design, hopefully something that is more true to my vision and style for this blog, and I am excited to see where it goes! I would appreciate your prayers, that I will stay faithful in what God is leading me to do, and that I will not allow complacency about my writing to creep back in.
I feel like this post has been all over the place, but my hope and prayer is that I will be honest and open with my readers, and that my writing will be used for God’s kingdom and glory. I feel like I need a fresh start with this blog, even though I have barely started at all, and I know that this was the post I needed to write in order to do so.
Thank you so much for being supportive, kind, and patient with this blog process and with me. I love you guys, and I am so grateful for this opportunity to use my writing in this way!